People tell me all the time that the fruits of wisdom is in the stillness. I like to call it the Quiet Place. Not like The Quiet Place, that horrendously, unnerving brilliant movie with Emily Blunt, but the place where we trust all is working out for us in the best of ways for the best of our abilities if we would just calm the heck down for a minute and stop messing it all up with our impatience and paranoia. How does one discern the difference between healthy action and imperious action? When the decision is easy, simple and peaceful, you can take healthy action. You know exactly what T’s to cross and I’s to dot and you are not screaming “Customer service” into the phone while holding down the number 4 simultaneously. When you have to take Mack truck lifting effort "to make that shit happen,” you are putting action ahead of the Quiet Place, thus disrupting the beautiful flow of an occurrence that is beyond your wildest imagination.
You find yourself crying in your car at a stop light to REO Speedwagon and you aren’t even in a romantic relationship.
Don’t we want to live in a place that is beyond our wildest imaginations? I do. What is in my imagination is the same scripts and scenes as I have been playing out in various scenarios my whole life. I want a new Act to the play. I want the beyond. I prefer to be surprised. Maybe it’s a getting older thing but less and less do I want to know what is going to happen. I never thought I would utter the words to the Universe, “Surprise me,” but I am sitting in that new place. In order to be surprised by the stream of life, we have to sit quietly in the flow.
Sometimes the flow points us to take on missions and purposes that don’t immediately present their fullest potential. We have to believe in the empty promises of our bated breath when we are so engrossed in this new idea that we have epiphanies in the pharmacy check out line in Rite Aid. Our minds are on fire and know just what to do because the purpose, so clear, has arrived. Last month I heard a nudge to create a 21 week teaching series called Abused No Longer. It’s from the process my book outlines that one can go through to heal from abuse. My impetus was that no one held any kind of “how to” series for me when I was in the decimating thick of coming out of abuse denial. When I decided to create the series, I was a initially paralyzed by the details, the technology, the lack of funds to orchestrate, yada yada and then this angel appeared in the form of a former CIO called James Grey and he build the whole mechanism for me in Covert Kit because he believed in the mission too. I had known him all of one week when he offered. He was manifesting his dream to help solopreneurs leverage technology to deliver value. People appear that are aligned to you when you create from a space of desire.
I had a ball creating this series when I felt my Quiet Place vision was supported. I never ever thought I would say this about creating a product talking about abuse. I also didn’t see any of this coming one month ago and now I have weekly authors lined up to serve and teach for only the cost of our books, and I’m on fire about how many people I could potentially help.
It’s amazing how much we try and muck up our lives thinking we need to be in charge of willing our actions so we get what we want. We use the actions before the quiet and then we wonder why we are tired, red-faced, broke and burned out.
Stop trying so hard and be in the flow. Even if it’s an experiment to see what comes of it.
If You Are Looking to do some writing:
Listen to my above audio and understand you are not fully a writer until you cross that chasm into writing for public consumption. You can journal all you want but you are not technically, according to my measure, a writer. You are on the path to becoming a writer, or a journal-er but you are not officially a writer until you write for a reader because that is the whole damn point. That picture on the video? It is a column I convinced the editor to let me have in The Griffin, the weekly newspaper at Canisius College. They let me write about whatever I wanted to every week, in as opinionated and snarky a voice I wanted, and until the LA Times article came out, I forgot how much I LOVED writing for an audience every week. I had students stop me in the cafeteria and tell me they loved my column. There was no high better than that for me. So if you plan to be a writer, of any kind, even if it is a love letter or card, send it. Put yourself out there. Touch someone with your writing. Heck piss someone off, but move the needle with your words.
What I wish someone would create:
A Shame Remover. We all walk around under so much shame for what we said, did, or didn’t do. It serves us ZERO. I would like every time shame comes up in my body and my mind to get just zapped. Like one of those collars they put on dogs who won’t stop barking. Just a wave that goes through my whole body so I learn to never feel shame. Shame feeds us never. It doesn’t motivate us at all. In fact, I have had so many people tell me about times they were little and they felt shame, and they peed somewhere in a corner. Yes, actually peed. Like dogs who are told they are bad and beaten. So if someone could create a shame zapper, that would sell out in an insta second.
Technology Tip:
I was just introduced to the ChatGPT launched by OpenAI. Apparently it can write letters, reports by entering a few prompts. Now, that said, while this could be a game changer for creating content, I will never stand behind AI as a substitute for book editors, coaches and writing from the heart creatively and emotionally. But, sigh, this is a thing and it’s best to embrace it rather than panic about it.
Shameless Plug:
For any of you in the LA area, I would love to meet you personally and hug you and thank you for being in my world on February 18th from 7-9 PM at my book launch event in Culver City at Village Well Books.
Also, if you know anyone who has suffered from abuse of any kind, and are coming out of denial, I would love for them to join me on February 26th from 4-5:30PM PST for my kick off Zoom Session of Abused No More on the topic Remembering.
Are you curious how people write books when they are scared or on the fence? Take a listen to my popular podcast You Should Write A Book About That, and if you think you qualify as a guest, reach out to us at hello@kimohara.com.
Why It's So Hard for Us to Be in the Quiet Place