I heard in this sermon that we don’t get vision at the top of the mountain. We get it when we are in the valley. When we are on the top of the mountain, we are IN the vision. We have on the bling and we know the right lyrics to the song, and that cute guy in the tux just winked at us, and we got the coffee that was perfectly hot. We have our bills paid and we love how our shoes feel after standing in them for three hours.
When we are in the valley, so much sucks. The cat vomits hair balls that we step in first thing in the morning barefoot, and that contract you thought was a guarantee isn’t signed, and you sit to write and you feel like every line blurs and all you want to do is make brownie batter and fuck the baking part. The valley can seem icy and windy and lonely, but here is where the magic is happening. You get to sew seeds so it is super important in the valley you behave. You show up. You smile. You go to that event you don’t want to go to. You are polite when people suck. You write your goals and your visions and you stick to them no matter what. You put post its on all your mirrors and doors that say you “create” and you “produce” and you “are.”
The valley is where you start to believe in the strength of your body and your mind, and you start to see visions that don’t make sense but they feel like a school girl blush. Fresh, exciting, confusing. In fact if the vision slightly makes your skin crawl, then you are on point. You can’t bat away what’s created in the valley. I can’t be falling in love with him, I only met him on Zoom. I can’t get a masters in fine art, that would be irresponsible to my career path. I can’t have a voice about a touchy subject because I may inconvenience others. The valley laughs. What will be will be, and if you disagree, all you are doing is taking the long road with no rest stops (ugh.) I don’t know about you, but when I die, and that could be at any time, I want to know I listened when I was in the valley. When the bile sits in the back of my throat and I start to quantify and add together numbers (like the numerology will make it all make sense), I am on the brink. I listen for God, but he wants me to just be in the peace of the divine discomfort that is living life.
In the valley is where we can find the power to look at ourselves in the mirror - our age spots, and missing eyelashes and laugh lines - and truly love the words that come from our mouths. The valley is where the hopes and dreams in our head become a collage of messy goo, ready to adhere to our future and propel us to greatness.
If You Are Looking to do some writing:
Well, it’s crazy and this may be a can of worms, but several people responded to my LA Times essay asking if I would be giving advice on love letter writing, and it kind of feels like a slippery slope to me but I would be open to it. I think it would be comical if I was to give love advice since my personal love life is such a missed bullseye… but then again, we often can do so much better guiding others than we can for ourselves. So if you have a desire to write someone a letter, then I say ask me about it in the comments below and I will respond. I had a woman friend just tell me yesterday she wrote a letter to someone and mailed it because she had been ghosted and blocked after a three year relationship, and just felt the despair of that kind of severing. Her texts and calls were ignored. I can see her now, in the light of dusk, her pen flying across the page, her heart aching, but getting in those words that she can’t allow to be silenced. Powerful stuff.
What I wish someone would create:
A fog horn by my desk to let me know it’s time to depart from working. I swear I am like a machine. I write and create and pause for cashews and some stretches and then I am back at it again. I need that fog horn to let me know the Love Boat is leaving the dock (aka, stop being a workaholic overachiever and go smell some flowers.) I found a sound effect on line and delighted in the description as “distant groans, mournful bursts, droney.” Sounds like me when my kids ask for money.
Technology Tip:
Iphone tripods have really come up in the last few years, and they are light and portable. There really isn’t any excuse anymore to prop your iPhone against a plant on top of cook books to do a live video. The angle is always a little odd like you have a third chin or are interviewing for a Hitchcock revival play. Boy was I giggly when I traded mine in that had leaned slightly to the left for two years for one that came with a remote. I felt like a fashion model (for about the half a second of the flash) with my snappy dappy remote. Beats hitting the countdown on the phone and the running back only to trip on a pair of shoes and break your face. The options to buy are staggering so I use the choosing rule that $22 usually gets me something decent.
(Me laughing at my book signing in Los Angeles last Saturday. You can watch the full hour with musical performances, me speaking and reading and guests speaking on You Tube.)
Shameless Plug:
As an abuse survivor and author of the book No Longer Denying Sexual Abuse: Making The Choices That Can Change Your Life, I have a mission. I want every single person on this planet who is still in the dread of facing abuse to reach out a hand and get help. I want their lives to be illuminated and magnified with the glory of recovery and peace when they come out of denial. This week my book is available, and so many incredible women showed up to have me as a guest on their podcast - all three women faced abuse, and felt this cause was important enough to have frank conversations.
Share these interviews with your community and your friends. There may be one man or woman who hears the message and breaks down, realizing they no longer want to live in denial of what was done to them. Instead they want to come forward, have a new voice, face their truths, heal their inner child, and release for a new life.
I will also be hosting Abused No Longer Session One tonight Feb 26th from 4-5:30 PM and the cost of entry is only purchase of the books. We want everyone to have access to this experience to recover from abuse, so you can also email us if you are not able to buy a book. We don’t want that to be something that holds you back from coming.