Do you remember your junior or senior prom? Perhaps you didn’t go, being one of the outliers who knew it was a waste of time and energy. I took my 17 year old shopping for her senior prom dress yesterday and it took me back, way back in time. As I watched her in all her beauty, in a soft green taffeta gown, creamy youthful skin, spinning on the upraised platform before the viewing mirror, I reflected back on my snow white prom dress. The bastion of innocence. It had a ruffle that hung off the shoulder. Junior year was a mishmash of difficulty for me, switching into a co-ed Jesuit high school after a long run at an all girls Quaker school, and three missed months because of mono. My dress didn’t emulate the torment that brewed inside but it did mask the girl who snorted copious amounts of cocaine off the dashboard of her best friend’s boyfriend’s Mercedes. We walked into the prom in some obnoxiously maroon banquet hall gnashing our teeth with no feeling in our gums. We needed to anesthetize the mundane monotony of our teen years. I danced a shit ton, didn’t eat the anemic chicken and took a picture I finally tossed six years ago in one of my pre-Marie Kondo purges.
My senior year I had wisened up that if I didn’t get all A’s and start to exercise, I would be spending the rest of my life in the small town of my rinky dink state. I was on point for my senior prom. I invited an ex boyfriend because he was cute, older and drove a sports car. I wore a dress of purple lame’ and had an air of authority as we took the pictures at my dad and step mom’s house. “You look so beautiful,” she slurred over the tinkle of ice cubes swirling in whiskey. I can’t wait until I never have to see you again, was what I thought through my squinty smile in the afternoon springtime sun. We smoked a joint before we walked into the dance, and I felt an air of sophistication alongside the mental mantra : Get me the fuck out of high school.
Watch the Sixteen Candles classic dance scene HERE
My daughter is going to have a radically different experience at her senior prom. She has a sweet boyfriend and her dad and I will be there as co-parents to snap pics as she pins the boutonniere on her date. She will have a decent time, but nothing too memorable and that will be the end of that. One $375 prom dress later that I already suggested she hem and re-purpose for that first college freshman dance.
We have these ceremonies of our youth that seem so archaic yet perpetuated. I have yet to meet anyone who’s like “The prom rocked!” or “I still remember the prom to this day. Best night of my life.” Maybe the prom gets replaced in the memory bank by the wedding which many people say is the best night of their life. I wonder about these old age traditions and why we keep them going when they are a) expensive b) boring and c) the DJ and the food sucks. I guess it is the civilized version of the Amish teens Rumspringa. Signing yearbooks, senior day… all there to soften the blow of being young, confused and changing on a daily basis.
What do you remember about your senior prom? Come on, how many of you want to look up your date on Facebook right about now?
Friday Fun:
We get to do fun things on the weekend if we motivate. I know that unless I put on my calendar in a big block “Go see wildflowers,” I will just end up working and then foraging for food, and under the fuzzy blanket in front of a movie by 8 PM on Saturday night. The whole life of the 50/50 custody parent is one weekend you are an Uber driving Post Mates deliverer, and the next weekend you only have yourself mostly to fend for. I have to motivate to do fun stuff for me when I am not a social director for my kids. So what are your plans this weekend, whether you are a parent or not? How about branching out and doing something you have never done before that scares the hell out of you? Maybe that’s going to a movie alone, or taking a rock climbing class.
Right now I am thinking, how come my column just became a weekend leisure guide? Shit, go get a box of Sees Candies, put on some REO Speedwagon and cry in bed. Do what you need for you. Don’t listen to me. I am just trying to master the power of intention and that should not bleed all over you.
I didn't attend my senior prom since the girl I wanted to ask was already spoken for and my class size was small, so no big loss for me. No sense in going alone or in the company of someone else out of desperation for wanting to "fit in". Go do something for yourself this weekend that brings you enjoyment and a positive memory to latch onto later. Go make it happen on your terms! :)