As writers we want praise. Come on, we toil for hours and we want someone to say, that really moved me. Or I couldn’t stop reading. We want to be the writer of that book you couldn’t put down. Does one title spring to mind when I say that? We all have them, and they are like that incredible lover you had once in the spring of 1997. It lingers in all the best of ways, even if you have moved on to many more great books. Feedback on your writing is tricky because you need to be sure the people who are giving it to you know you so they can hold your sensitive tender heart in a safe place, but also understand the arc of your work. If you give chapters of your book to a stranger who may be accomplished as a writer, you will get their whole bag of tricks and opinions but they don’t know YOU. If you feel feedback is essential, find yourself a group who has seen you cry at least once, and also have had a view of your mess and your mission.
So how do you go about acquiring that special feedback group? I don’t think that workshopping pieces in one off weekends is smart unless you feel pretty firm in the book. Like you are on the last draft, confident, and you are seeing where you landed. You can have a few ah has but the opinions won’t send you crying into the closet. I also do think that workshopping with people who are better writers than you is wonderful because it drives you to a higher level of accomplishment. But how do you know the people are screened and by who? This came up in a coaching call this week with a client… do I screen writers for their ability before I take them on as a book coach? I replied, how could I? That’s like being a life coach and wanting your clients to have their life sorted before you take them on. I pledge to make anyone a good writer, or a better writer. I will stand by you when you do so, but you have to do the work. I will guide you if you are not strong writer but I can’t require you to be a good writer when we start. I also simply advise no feedback at all until the very end if you are a newbie because even the strongest of us have fear and insecurities. Nothing kills the hope of a new writer than having a spouse who is well meaning have panic in their face after reading a chapter.
Writing alongside people can be fun and interesting, simply for the ebb and flow of “it’s time to take a break, let’s get a donut,” but even then, I wouldn’t share too much about what you wrote. Stick to commiserating over the struggles as a writer or an emotional block.
If You Are Looking To Do Some Writing:
Try and explore your writing times. We all have our own different rhythms. I wish mine wasn’t 5AM but I am on fire from early on till about 9AM. Then I flame out by sheer distraction. I also write fast and hard for 3-4 hours, so I am kind of burnt out for the rest of the day. Don’t judge your writing times. Lean into them and ask how you can adjust your schedule to make it work. A London Writers Salon was suggested to me last week for writing rooms on line - I have not done this group personally but this writer said she loved it.
Also - several people have asked me what service I used to get published recently in a prestigious literary magazine. Writer’s Relief provides you a list of where to apply off reading your written piece (no feedback, just a list!) You do the submitting (which is easy these days on Submittable) but they have the intel for you and its only $199.
What I Wish Someone Would Create:
Better packaging at Trader Joes. Is it just me or when you rip at the designated plastic tear on nut/granola/etc it rips across and doesn’t open? Then you are trying from the other end which also rips up and to the side, and then teeth get involved which never produces results, to finally cut the darn thing open to where you knick the fresh sealing zipper and no longer is the bag reliable for preservation of the product? Does anyone else feel compelled to complain to Trader Joes or am I just a weirdo?
(Thank you to writer Laurie Timms for emailing me from last week’s edition that I could get printer ink from Door Dash. Prior to this, I did in fact go to Office Depot for ink. I came to the counter with six cartridges and dropped them down with great determination. The guy said, “Planning on printing a lot?” To which I replied, “No, I just never want to come here again.” And he said, “You know, once you get the cartridges home, and they sit in a non-temperature controlled environment you lose at least 150 pages.” I stared at him blankly for a beat, my hopes dashed of stock piling printer cartridges, but also grateful he took time to explain that fact. I left with one cartridge and will be calling Door Dash.)
Technology Tip:
Did you know you don’t have to create a link invite every time for meetings if your Zoom room is your cell phone number? You can just tell people to join you in you Zoom room which is your phone number. I am forever looking for ways to streamline my business and while I know it is partly my responsibility to share links for calls, it is also the other person’s responsibility to note the meeting is at my room (which is my phone number.) I told someone this tip the other day to someone very accomplished in the coaching world, and they said, no fucking way, so I thought this tip warranted a share.
There is no shameless plug. I have nothing to sell but peace, hope, humor and a happy Sunday for you all.
If you would like to be featured in my newsletter because you have a wonderful cause to share that has to do with writing or creating, shoot me an email!