Why women don’t give themselves permission to live the biggest, fullest, happiest and wealthiest life they can.
And how my column just swung to the topic I can't get enough of.
I had to give myself permission to start focusing what I am writing here on what I am birthing in my second book. While a lot of my posts are about being transparent, and my own transparency, I tend to be a mixed bag with content which doesn’t best serve the readership. Or at least when I talk about uncertainty or being uncomfortable, I can direct the writing towards what is on my heart and in my head continuously now… why women don’t give themselves permission to live the biggest, fullest, happiest and wealthiest life they can.
So in order to be accountable to spreading that word, and publishing my book on the topic, I changed the name of the column to I Give You Permission, which is what I am saying to you as the reader. If that resonates with you, I am looking to open up the conversation in this column. Get real, and start talking about what feels taboo to talk about here. What is controversial about giving yourself permission and what feels at stake? We have these limits to what we are allowed to do because we feel there are repercussions looming. I wrote about jumping out of a plane and there was always a possibility I could die… but the happiness of being able to do something so free and abundant had me confident I wouldn’t die and leave my children motherless, and I would also inspire lots of other women who have written me to say I have given them bravery to jump out of a plane.
What else do women need permission to do?
I took a trip to France by myself for two weeks to wander Paris, write and attend a writing workshop. I also took a train alone from Barcelona to a live mega DJ event with thousands of people and danced my ass off in the front row. Several moments on the trip I felt selfish and frivolous because it felt so good to be basking in my happy independence. I had to table the negative thinking because it was useless and set me back in my joy. That mindset was a waste of a good time spent.
I gave myself permission to take conversational French lessons even if I thought it was a frivolous expense and not what I “think” I should do on Tuesday and Thursday nights. Where is the should coming from when I feel in my heart I want to learn conversational French?
I gave myself permission to celebrate one year in the condo I bought, when I also owned a second home. I had to fight through a feeling of financial fear that it’s all going to cave in, while I was actually celebrating I paid the mortgage for 12 consecutive months and had 12 months of tenants.
See the theme here? We can’t just cleanly go into a decision we made without looming over our head, or in the dark shadows, some kind of antithetical or combative thought that tells us we should be wary, concerned and downright upset at ourselves for giving permission for such big happy living!
Do you want permission to run up credit card debt irresponsibly or hit your kids because you had a bad day, or cheat on your partner because they don’t pay attention to you? You could give it to yourself and be justified, but that is not the kind of permission I am talking about. I am talking about permission to be happy and wealthy, which means your joy and abundance touches all the people you love around you. Even people you won’t even know you are inspiring. You do it for you, in the highest order of your original self, and you will be surprised how your life turns around to where you no longer are trying to evade tragedy but invite destiny.
When I say “I give you permission” to make healthy changes in your life and go for it, what does that bring up for you? Start the conversation!