Permission to get up out of the bed

And start that project instead of procrastinating

Yesterday I had plans around noon to plop down on the beach and lay on the warm sand in my bikini, work on my tan, and read a book. I had gotten up early and participated in my sobriety community, after a big week of lots of personal transitions (including the tooth implant) so I felt I deserved some relaxing do-nothing beach time. I had one more obligation - I had agreed to read a devotional for the women’s prayer call through my church. I figured that would be 10AM to 11AM and right after, I would gather my bags and head to relax by the crashing surf of Venice Beach in peak summer splendor.

The prayer call main speaker ruined that for me in one sentence.

“Get up out of that bed and write that book.”

Now mind you, the speaker was on a prayer line talking to 75 women across the country. She had no idea I was right at the beginning of a big edit on my Permission book. She also didn’t know that instead of working on the book that afternoon, I was planning on laying on the beach. After I had proclaimed at the beginning of the week it was time to finally get this book out into the world. Also, she didn’t know that while the afternoon was perfectly set up for quality writing time as my partner was in an all day class, his daughter was out for the day, and my daughters were on a trip visiting their grandparents, I was procrastinating.

There was no reason for me to NOT be writing on my book except I was taking the easy way out. I was laying in the bed (which in this case was going to be the hot glorious Southern California sand.)

After I recovered from the fact that she was channeling a message through God to me, she drove the point home, which makes sense in any endeavor we choose to do.

Are you waiting for someone else to move you, or are you moving forward yourself?

In other words, why did I start proactively working on the book, get half way to the goal and then turn around and stop?

Because I wasn’t giving myself permission to continue to do the work, every day, to get to the finish line of publishing the book by December.

I know the deal. I am a book coach, ghost writer and editor. I have been in the book business as a coach for eleven years, and prior to that worked with writers in the movie business for two decades. I don’t think there is writer’s block, but rather writer avoidance. I know once you get your butt in the seat and start, you will produce work and I know how long every page of writing takes. I have a printed stack of proposed chapters on my desk that are going to need hours and hours of editing. Every day I could edit, but if I decide to go to the beach when I have a window to write, it would push me back farther from my goal.

This doesn’t just apply to authors. You want to be an attorney? Get out of the bed. Study for the exam.

You want to be a singer? Get out of the bed. Practice your vocals.

Get out of your comfort zone and believe that there will be time for everything in the order of importance. Make a deadline for yourself, and understand that you are doing what you have been created for or you wouldn’t do it in the first place.

I talk about this ownership in my book. Have wins and then celebrate them. Sometimes our win IS sitting on the beach and relaxing but I had done a lot of running, walking, biking on the beach this week. What I needed to do was writing. So I decided to forgo laying on the beach, and instead called a friend to walk on the beach at 4PM and then rolled up my sleeves and wrote from 1:30-4pm. I felt a shift in me as I took ownership of the material and gave it my devoted time. Then I walked with my friend and later that night had an extra fun date with my partner at the OC Fair seeing a Talking Heads Tribute band. Yes it’s a thing. We rode on a Sky Ride that took us across the fair grounds, and I was elated. I did my calling today, and I still had fun.

We have background narratives in our mind we are not conscious of that pause us in our endeavors. Like, how important is it that I write on this topic when surely someone else must be writing on this same topic or taking this action too. How important is it that I do it today?

SO important.

Don’t go back to that bed. If you have a dream that needs to be realize, get out of the bed. Shift the energy when you feel you are not doing what you are called to do.

Honestly, there are many days I go to the beach like seriously fuck it, or I go for a long walk or I see a friend for lunch. These actions at these times feel legit for me. I don’t have that feeling like, why aren’t you writing the book? When my mind went clear a few weeks ago, I was relieved of any kind of obsessive spin about writing when I am doing other things.

Which is why I listen when I get the message, and I don’t question it.

Taking a swim or seeing a movie is not instead of writing if I choose those actions. Lying on the beach when I know in my gut writing is needed is not listening and honoring myself. I am lying in the bed.

I felt like her talking about the book, which I rarely hear speakers on prayer lines talk about, was for me. Like a direct channel for me. Get out of the bed (stay off the beach) and write that book. I have lots of time for the beach. I live across from the beach. I also now live with my partner so I have eliminated easily about ten hours of logistics, driving, packing and preparing a week and I have that time now to dive into this project. I was annoyed I didn’t have the bandwidth to finish this book until I realized in the start of 2025 I was getting personal space and logistics organized so I could be ready when the calling came to write again.

It came a few weeks ago and I dove in.

So I can’t stop the momentum now.

Take this column. I have zero reason to write this column. I can’t explain to you logically why a year ago I pivoted my column to I Give You Permission. It just happened. Suddenly I was writing about permission every week. I didn’t ask for this job in life. No one gave it to me. I just took it and ran with it, and I have zero idea what will monetize from it or not. I don’t really focus on money (although I do love paid subscribers like any other Substack writer) because I am called to talk and write about permission. I do it every week happily and no one tells me I should or shouldn’t. It’s a given.

People who create from a place where they don’t ask why keep learning and building in that place of creation. After I wrote the first draft of my book in late 2023, I started to write about permission in this column. I have been at it for a year. Now I see that I am so much more aware and informed on the topic from the sheer act of writing about it for 52 plus weeks. Of course I have to go back to the book and edit it with the new knowledge I have lived and expressed week after week.

None of this was part of my timing.

We are not in charge of the creation timing. I want to be. I also want to be in charge of how my expertise gets out in the world but I am clearly not because life is in session and we have delays, and blocks and pivots, but if you walk away from something (like I did with movies) and never go back then the season is over. I am not done with permission, it keeps asking to be talked about so I will keep writing.

I will get out of bed and write on the book.

Where do you need permission to get out of the bed and start chipping away, even with baby steps, on a dream that you know is your calling?

Stop trying to understand or explain to yourself why you should or shouldn’t do the work. Start to trust that when you are called, you will answer the calling and when it is time to rest you will. I never thought once about working on edits of the Permission book when I was in Big Sur in December of 2024. I also didn’t think about editing this book when I was in Fiji this March. I relaxed and basked in the splendor of nature. I was creating other parts of my life to have movement that were necessary to set me up to do the work. I didn’t even know that, but I didn’t make myself feel bad I wasn’t writing on the book. I was writing on the column every week though, without fail. I created a consistency no matter what.

Now I have to go beyond this column and edit on the book, and that feels like a big sacrifice in a way, but it doesn’t if I follow my calling.

What is the outcome of your dream you are avoiding? If it feels really big, like it will take you away from your family, or cause you to have financial fear, keep stepping forward slowing and allow the calling to pull you forward. The messages and lessons will come and when you heed them, you will prosper.

I LOVE my paid subscribers, but I have to admit, I only have 8 of them. Which makes sense because I don’t really offer perks to those folks who pay $30 a year, but they do now how much they warm my heart. My heart has a lot more room to be warmed, so if you love my column, and read it every week (and now twice a week), I would love you to become a paid subscriber and help a writer out!

I also am bringing back my Book Clarity calls for $350. These calls are packed with my book outlining and organizing knowledge. I have had clients who are not yet ready for the full deep dive into the RoadMap Intensive benefit immensely from a Clarity Call. No matter what stage you are in - ideating or working with an editor, or a publisher, and something feels off, I can come in and right size the ship.

Once booked, I will reach out with my Venmo, and we can set aside an hour of time either at the time booked, or a more convenient hour.

Here is a very funny piece of a speech by writer Frederik Backman on procrastination and creative anxiety -

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