Why is it so hard to believe in our dreams? No, this is not going to be some great self-help article but I do pose this question for you to consider. How do we even know what our dreams are when they are buried under years of making sacrifices or excuses that we should accept what we have and get over ourselves. Then we marvel at the people who proclaim they stood by their dream and sold their book, or met their soul mate or bought that castle in Edinburgh, Scotland (sounds good, I know no one who did, but they ARE out there.)
When you want what you want, your mind can convince you that what you have is the best it’s going to get, and if you were just a little more flexible, you would be happy. But then you find you have yo yo feelings internally and you are sitting on the toilet cursing the one ply toilet paper you bought instead of the cushy two-ply. “If I was just more focused!” you think. But you can’t be focused. Not in the toilet paper aisle at Target, or while your client is talking to you, or when your kid is reading you their long paper for history class on the revolt of the masses. You can’t focus because your heart knows you are selling out a dream, and you mind is working double time to shut it up. Imagine holding your heart in your hand with its dream… the late great Bob Proctor did a meditation for Mind Valley that I used to listen to all the time where he stands by what you visualize, you actualize. The meditation starts with crashing waves and seagulls, and then this music swells, and in comes Bob. You can’t help but wondering when the 21 minutes are done why you would think any other way than getting exactly what you want in life.
Our mind wants us to get shit done and off the list. Our heart only wants what is the most ultimate best for us. They are waging a war, and I am here to say no matter how scary it is, or how much you think you will fail, let your dreams in your heart win. They will take you places you can’t even believe. Just close your eyes and imagine yourself in a place where you are the one saying, “How did this happen?” Guess what, who the fuck cares how? Just hold onto the dream, do not let go, tell your mind to take a hike and believe me, bliss is underrated. Lean in.
If You Are Looking to do some writing:
Do it in a bookstore. I can’t say enough about the environment of writing in a book store. You meet writers of all stages, and also diligent people who want to work around books. Books make them feel good so they go to this place, and therefore they are in the same vibe as you. I had a client Maya who could only focus when she wrote at Barnes & Noble. She found a stool in the back and pounded away on the keys. She would even text me when Google ads would geo target her, pitching her other book coaching programs. “Why they hell are you not on Google ads? You are way better than these people!” she would say.
I was in the book store yesterday sending query letters out to agents for my new book Five Percent, a memoir about my home buying journey as a single woman. My writing group has told me I have a voice that is like Anne Lamott meets Pema Chodron with a dash of witty snark. In the flow of sending these hopeful letters, a woman shared my spot with me, and plopped down Bird by Bird by none other than Anne Lamott. Talk about energy attracting energy. I was floored. Of course we got talking and I found out she was desperately wanting to organize a book she had been writing on phone notes for way too long. I shuddered thinking about that kind of excavation, but assured her I could help her.
Like attracts like. Go where you feel good in your highest vibe and the energy around you, your affirmation of self will take care of the rest.
What I wish someone would create:
A simple half day class for all teenagers on certain fundamentals of basic existence:
Close cabinet doors and drawers after opening them. The kitchen looks like we just ignited a Raid bug can when you leave.
When you take a granola bar out of a wrapper, put the wrapper in the trash not on the floor by the trash can. I don't care if you will get to it later. For parents, it’s just a painful defiance of logic.
Do not leave 6 Goldfish in the family size bag. It dashes the hopes of those who want a baggie full of goldfish. Please also do not put empty boxes back in the cabinet. This gives the illusion we have food we do not have.
If you don’t seal the cheese slice bag when you put it in the fridge, the cheese will turn into the consistency of bathroom tile, and we will all have sad cheese-less turkey sandwiches.
You are responsible for cleaning cat barf too. It is your cat. Just because you waited till last minute to pack for your school day and are now racing around screaming does not mean it becomes the parent (who is trying to get ready for work) responsibility. Stop walking around the barf in the hall yelling “I’m too busy!”
Don’t get out of the car with all your stuff while watching your phone. Put the phone DOWN. You don’t need to bring your phone with Tik Tok to the bathroom, to the kitchen and back down the hall… leaving cabinet doors open and wrappers in your wake.
Parents are not valets. If you can’t get it all in one trip, take another. Don’t ask us to transport your bags unless you plan to tip us. And can you please close the car door when you go inside the house? When you don’t, and it rains, the car gets soaking wet.
Technology Tip:
Buy the flat charging pad for your phone. I feel sleek and fashionable when my phone lies on its power port like I am the master commander on the Star Fleet enterprise. No more looking under my desk to discover a kid has absconded my charging cable. I thought this product was a discovery when neither the worker on the floor at Staples OR the check out guy had any clue they carried such a product. That is because they are for rock star queens only, I thought. But then I came home to see the market is flooded with them and they are even thinner and more portable. Well, whatever. You know when you know.
Shameless Plug:
It’s January 2023. So many of you think there should be some big flash of light that tells you it’s time to write your book, but I am here to tell you the only light is the one on your laptop screen when you finally commit to outline your book, and have a plan on how to write chapters and drafts in a organized, creative and efficient way. I am a book coach. Book a call with me. I know the nuances of writers upside down and sideways and if you are ready, we can go on a magical ride. If not, I love you, keep dreaming but please stop complaining if you aren’t going to do anything about it.