I was trained to be a coach, so for many years, my newsletters would have a story, a concept, and then I would pitch some kind of class, or a call with me. This business method was moderately effective, although I truly found the writers who worked with me came through word of mouth. They would get on a call with me and I would listen to what held them back from writing their book. I would then offer a solution (working with me) and 20% of the time, I would sign them to a book writing program. My personality, reputation and path of writing attracted the people to me who needed me and my message.
For a long time in business, I would attend networking meetings. In a nutshell, you got up in a massive room, had breakfast or lunch, and eventually said your 30 second elevator pitch. Hopefully people would know others wanting to write a book and refer you. I didn’t get much business this way but I had the opportunity to walk through nerves and excitement to say what I do. Eventually I didn’t want to be in this kind of mechanism, and I started to wonder how I would meet clients more organically. I started to attend personal development events where I would share who I was more naturally. I felt good about this exposure as it was more aligned to who I am creatively. I also was tapping into more of my intuitive self, and I could feel what people needed and when they were ready. I could hear messages between the lines when they spoke.
During the pandemic, I thought I could 10X my business, and I paid way too much money to do a promotional funnel - which is a bunch of ads to promote a class that taught people to own their stories and why they wanted to tell them. To give them ownership of being authors, and permission. The funnel creation was super technical, and a lot of intellectualizing what I found in my business to be very emotional. I was forced to copy edit into a small space the essence of what people needed. I was concerned the words were not enough. I was also quantifying the outcome on a sales basis, not a soul searching platform. At the end of the day, the product didn’t attract flocks of people to my writing programs. While I felt disappointed, I knew the lesson was that I had tried to be something else than I was. I had tried to do what other coaches did who made $1M dollars. I had externally put out an image of myself that felt fabricated.
I had to understand that what I needed to talk about for writers was what I heard them all say to me. I got the wants and needs in a direct channel to when I shared about them. I could make a video, write this column, write books, and everything I talked about had to come from the creative core. I could change and shift but the truth was, people only want to hear where they are in pain. Holding a story inside you for too long is painful. I have been there. We don’t want to believe our story is valuable yet we are plagued every day we don’t tell it. We on one hand think we are worthy of speaking in front of thousands about our ideas, and then we hedge and play small with our words.
Taking the time to know what you are promoting is smart. Knowing what messages your story tells is worth the time taken, but don’t diminish, change or edit who you are on the outside when you show yourself to others.
I went to a women’s book gathering in a fancy part of LA a few weeks back. I was aware that a part of me felt like I wasn’t as wealthy as the people who would be there. I also was hungry, and I knew there would be food. So when I arrived, I was quick to go to the spread on the table and make a plate. I also put to rest the price of my pocket book and shoes. As I ate, women came by and grazed, and I struck up conversations. I didn’t need to be a super star book coach, or writer. I could be Kim, on a Saturday, who thought this event would be cool, who is now eating asparagus in a lemon butter. I was not there to sell, but if someone had an interest in getting their story out, I could listen and be that connection with another creative person. I get to listen to what the dialogue could be, and then without putting on a sales hat, try and offer suggestions and empower someone.
One of the women cornered me and told me for way too long about her business, her coaching, and she was almost breathless in how little she was taking in what I was saying. I was trying to humanize the situation and she was in auto pilot. I didn’t really see a future talking together at all. She didn’t see it. She didn’t see how little I felt she connected with me. I saw later she had cornered someone else.
Writers need to promote who they are. For me, as a book coach, I sometimes feel conflicted that I have to sell my wares that are connected to writing. And then I also need to promote my own writing. We have to promote ourselves as creatives, but know what your message is. Get it down and stick to it. People will find you, and eventually, they will show you your calling.