I just wrote a whole post on happiness and I hated it. So I went into the kitchen and ate most of the small granola chunks out of my daughter’s dry cereal and then came back and deleted the post. Why? Because writing about happiness is boring. At least it is for me today. I had a good run of writing about happiness, maybe I will repurpose it, but as I started to read it I thought, who the fuck wants to read this? I surely didn’t.
But as I was eating the dry cereal out of the box in the kitchen which was washed in a light that showed the cat’s trail of litter and dust bunnies, I knew what I did want to write about…
I would be happy if someone did everything for me.
What do I mean by that? I would love to never go to Target, Home Depot, Trader Joes, Vons, the post office, the gas station, or anywhere that I have to buy anything necessary again. I would love for someone to make all my appointments, answer all my emails, return all my texts and definitely book all my travel and hotels. I want someone to buy all my clothes, shoes, cosmetics and furnishings. I don’t want to make any dental or medical appointments, or sign up for any portals of any kind. I don’t want to cook any meals, or source any food, or look for any cool restaurants. I don’t want to make another password or check another mutual fund.
I definitely don’t want to have to remember where I parked like I do here where I take a picture with my phone as I will completely forget place, floor, number and color the minute I walk away from my car.
So what does that leave me time to do? Create. Think. Be. Focus on connecting with the people who need me for what I can help them to create, heal from, laugh at. Purely a vessel to be in the world unencumbered by the minutia of life. I want to have the best team of people ever assembled to help me get through my life. You think, wow, won’t this render you incapable and completely co-dependent? I don’t think so… If you think massively multitasking the menial tasks of gathering and sourcing all day long is a form of power and control, then you need to start reading some serious self help books or meditate for a minute.
It’s not that I don’t see the value and opportunity for connection in the running around of the daily grind but I am being frankly honest. I want to go to the soccer game and cheer my kid on, but I don’t want to buy the soccer cleats at Big Five or pick out items for the 25 snack bags at the Dollar Store. Unless I invent something spectacular in the next year and make millions, I won’t be in this camp of doing nothing. So I will still be calling about the bad cell service and tracking down a lost UPS package. But that doesn’t mean a girl can dream.
You might say, but if you eliminate having to do everything you do, what would you do? Seriously? I would lay on my bed and read every book I never have time to read and I would take all those naps I missed, and I would contemplate life in all the ways I have wanted to but was too stressed by all the stuff I needed to get off my list or the guy I was dating who treated me mediocre but at least he was an escape from the banality of life.
If you think about it, and you add up the hours, we do so much gathering, assorting, arranging and returning. I can’t stand it. I want to wander around in a brainless fog of open receptivity to creation, not on point with where the toilet paper is in Aisle 12 in Ralphs.
Some New Things Are Happening!
I just moved my podcast over to Substack. What that means is I basically had an impulse and clicked download podcast here and next thing I knew my RSS feed was Substack. I had to go into Apple and all these platforms and change it which could mean I just fucked up my whole podcast and am looking at about 62 back and forth threads with the technical help at multiple platforms, or I am on a new journey, with the destination unknown (a feeling I prefer… remember, I am the woman who doesn’t want to take any responsibility for anything outside her kids, her writing and her clients.) I may have clicked the button because I am bored, or I was inspired by a divine force that led me here. I sometimes can’t tell the difference which really messes with me.
Bottom line, if you have never listened to my podcast, it is here!
Yes, in a perfect world we could escape all responsibilities and just follow inspirational paths that lead us to surprising conclusions that are catalysts for positive change. The reality of a daily grind for maintaining our status quo does curb creativity and freedom, so we need to lock up a portion of the day to "let it go" and leave the distractions behind for an hour or two to just reflect and act on ideas rather than set them aside for an intended future application that never comes. Escapism is great when you can afford to not worry about the outcome when re-entering reality later ....... ;)
I'll bet on divinity as the agitator