I saw a guy walking down the street the other day who walked just like his dog. The little dog had this funny gait where he would kick out a paw on an obtuse angle, and his owner had the same affect with his leg. I couldn’t help but smile as they ambled by, side kicks to each other. I thought, I am in the moment and it is delicious. Being in the moment is noticing aspects of our dimensionality in a way that you see unobstructed observations just for the sake of seeing them and chuckling to yourself. You don’t have go DO something about what you saw (although my writer mind knew I would be putting this in my column…). It’s not a networking moment you have to capitalize on, or a date you have to lock in, or even a growth moment. It just is.
My kids sometimes will say, “Mom don’t stare…” I guess I find someone or a situation so fascinating, I become like a enraptured child. If I had an ice cream cone, it would probably be melting all over my hand. I get pulled into people and their positions in life. I wonder why that woman chose to go out with glitter in her hair or how come that man is pulling the young boy so urgently through the supermarket. I also question the placement of certain roadway obstructions, or decor in a lobby. All this to say that the reason why I am choosing to be so taken by the way of the world in its simplest form is to counter the fact that when I work, I over achieve and completely forget to breath or move from my seated position. I atrophy and almost pass out. Sounds dire but those of us that are extremists live in this way and have to do the work to be in the middle place. The upper room as the Shamans say.
The truth is, I want to have languid lunches in pretty environments with kind people all the time, but I only get to once in a while. Take my friend Amy for instance and her husband Todd. They had me over for lunch after yoga one day (which sounds so LA so I guess it is… minus the $400 yoga pants…) and they brought out marinated gherkins and olives, and Todd had sliced these watermelon radishes we put on top of arugula salad. The sun came in the room in just the perfect slant of light and we talked about movies. I never wanted to leave ever.
How often do we need nothing? We always need something. Even in meditation, we need it to work or to soothe us, or to deliver on some level. If we are honest, we always have some kind of seed of expectation. To defeat this, I try and enjoy what comes to me that has no need attached. Back to the noticing spontaneously. One of my favorite moments is when I enter a bathroom in an office building and they just mopped the floors with that lavender smelling industrial cleaner. I love it. I just want to inhale it like a bougie candle. Or a very hot car. I love the smell of a very hot car. How many times do we allow ourselves to be in the spaces of nothingness that are so much something-ness, and realize we have no need.
Take a moment to smell the smells you like that aren’t the roses (so last decade..) Look at what fascinates you and really take it in. Enjoy your being and chuckle at yourself. Talk to the universe about your human condition but try to want nothing. My open eye meditation Bruce Rubin (yes, he wrote Ghost) said that when in the trance state we shouldn’t even scratch an itch. The minute he told me that everything itched. I had a need and a want. But I ignored it and it went away. Watch out for being derailed by compulsions. Be intentional about your life and all that you hope for, wish for and wonder about.
Then go find that odd smell you love and enjoy it. Channel lipstick, anyone?
Why I Write Now On Fridays:
This was actually written on a Thursday fighting intense amounts of fatigue because my back muscles kept me up all night. There is no reason in middle age for anything to hurt. Suddenly you have back spasms, or loss of circulation to your three middle fingers, or a creaky knee or a troubled hip. I was shocked my back hurt so much and my hip no longer did until I was informed no part of the body can be in chronic pain at the same time. So in actuality my hip hurts, but I can’t tell because I am so preoccupied with the raging pain on my left shoulder blade. So they just go back and forth. “Hey hip, you want to chronically hurt today?” “Sure knee, I’ll take Wednesday, you take Friday, and the leaking dry hormonal eye will take Tuesday.” “Should we give her Monday off?” “Fuck no, we have to give one day to sagging chin skin and gravity.” “Okay great in fact let’s fill the rest of the week with that since she’s dating and feeling super insecure.” “Done.”
This dialogue has nothing to do with putting out a column on Friday.
I just want sympathy.
Despite the focus on our daily battles with life's challenges (past, present, and future), sometimes we just need to stop, recognize, and appreciate the simple things in life that bring joy and/or amazement without a price. The photo attached to this column of what appears to be a magnolia tree in full radiant lavender bloom is a prime example of that. It costs us nothing to stop, look, and recognize that beauty is all around us when we actually slow down and let it touch our subconscious. Whether it is a double rainbow, a stunning butterfly, or a magnificent sunrise or sunset, Mother Nature does give us gifts when she is not scolding us for abusing her. Let the moment sink in and wash away the turmoil for a while, capturing the image in our minds to pull up later when we need a respite from harsher times. Don't we deserve to do that for ourselves? YES, we do .....